Selfishness

In the 7 years that I have been married I have had few hobbies. I did some scrapbooking when we were dating and that lasted a little while into our married life but between work and ministry and then kids it got pushed to the side. About 3 months ago I decided I wanted to garden. I found a great little vegetable garden plan online and set about making it happen. My veggie garden is now in full bloom, along with about 30 plants in my front flower beds that have been bare for 3 years and 2 beautiful pots on my back porch. But all this green beauty comes at a cost...time. Two nights ago I wanted to finish planting some flowers and then water all my plants. I tried to talk my 4 year old into helping. She watered a few plants then dug one hole and she was done. It was too hot and she did not like it so she went inside. I finished the project outside then went inside to start bath and bed time routines. Both the kids were excited to see me but both wanted to play. Because I spent my time doing what I wanted I missed out on time with my kiddos and felt it in their attitudes. It was a battle to the end.

I know we all battle wanting what we want when we want it. It starts as an infant when all your needs at met and all you have to do is whimper. As we grow we learn about delayed gratification and sometimes what I want will hurt others so maybe it's not such a good thing. Finding a balance between spending time with my children and time on my hobby is difficult sometimes. Last night I decided to do it the opposite way and played with the kids till almost bath time then went out to water. They responded much better to the bath and bed routine b/c they had gotten "mama time". I know a lot of us struggle with spending so much time taking care of other people that we don't take care of ourselves. In my work I see a lot of people who are worn out and worn down because they have never taken care of themselves. Finding something you enjoy and spending time doing it sometimes makes it easier to take care of others.