Wednesday, June 8, 2016

What I would say to the bride I was

Twelve years ago this week I married my best friend. If I could travel back in time and give the woman I was a few tips to help her along the way what would I say? Nothing.

If I told her how hard it would be to raise kids hundreds of miles from family she might make different choices. Then she would miss some precious friendships. She would miss the blessing of seeing God use His church to be her family. I certainly wouldn't want her to miss that.

If I told her to enjoy her in laws because they would gone too soon she would worry about when it would happen.  That worry would rob her of the joy she would feel watching her father in law hold his first grandson.

If I told her that her first and only daughter would wrap that smiling groom around her little finger before he left the delivery room it would ruin the gender surprise. Plus there are no words to describe to the feeling of watching that father/daughter bond grow.

How do I describe what it's like to watch her groom teach their children to play catch and ride a bike? Or how hard she will laugh the first time he tries to change a diaper (and the second and third time too). Would she be able to understand that the wonder of a new baby doesn't diminish after the first child is born?

If I warned that glowing bride that there would be days when she and that groom were so tired from the work of living and raising babies that they would barely be able to mumble "I love you" before collapsing into exhausted sleep then she might decide not to have those babies. And I certainly
wouldn't want her to miss that.

How would I tell her that she has get through ER visits, traumatic birth experiences and potty training  to get to the fun of family vacations and cheering on kids at tball games? How do I tell her that after the newlywed glow has faded it will be their commitment to each other and the God they serve that will get them through the bad days? How do I tell her that those bad days when they are clinging to each other will be what makes the good days sweeter?

No, I certainly can't tell her any of that. So if I could go back in time and sit in the back row of that church and watch the bride I was marry the man I waited many years to meet what would I do? I would hug her tightly, squeeze her hand and simply whisper "You chose well."

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